Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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