can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
