Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
