he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
