Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Omg I joined a choir last night...
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
