yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize