We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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