Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
