It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
