the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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