don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
