how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
