you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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