dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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