So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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