4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
