She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
