There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
