My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
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