Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
