I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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