I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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