Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
