i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize