Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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