I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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