I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Enjoy the penises
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
