Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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