Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
