i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
