Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
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