I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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