my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
