We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
