And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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