Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
