don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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