i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
