She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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