Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize