did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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