Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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