Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
