I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
