My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize