Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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