you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
