I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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