so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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