he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
