i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
