? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
