All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Randomize
