I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I smell like Dick and happiness
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
