I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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