I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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