I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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