Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
