HIV tests are more positive than that guy
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
