he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
